My brother called his brother and asked: It's Yud Beis Tammuz. What's the current topic for a farbrengen. So his brother told him: The topic is: Last week we farbrenged about Gimmel Tammuz. Do you remember it? Did it accomplish anything?
Brilliant. We're a week or two or a month removed from a farbrengen. What has it done for us? The Rebbeim instituted farbrengens as an integral part of being a chossid and growing in chassidishkeit. They need to be used, and used properly. We need to make sure that the farbrengen isn't simply munching on food with background talk. There's got to be toichen, the toichen needs to be ingested aliba denafshei - hey buddy! we're talkin' to you! - and then you need to live with it.
I was talking to a fellow the other day (other than what? maybe another time) and asked him how his gimmel tammuz hachlotoh to --insert hachlatah-- is coming along. "I made that hachlotoh? I don't even remember." ! The farb. and the hachloto were so ritual, he simply made it and got on with life.
We didn't think of farbrengens on our own. They were prescribed for us by the Rebbe. There's no need to look for a second opinion.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Camp vs. Halacha
Shalom.
Question: Why?
Answer: There's no good reason. So a kid goes to camp, all frum and chassidish and doing everything his mommy wishes he would. There he meets his counselor and learning teacher, the guys that are going to bring him even closer to his Father in Heaven. So they tell him go wash for Hamotzie for lunch and get on line for a roll. So Kid says "Um, I'm not allowed to that. I need to have bread right away." So counselor says, "Oh, don't try acting so frum." So in the morning Kid is davening and Counselor says "Be ready to start in three minutes." So Kid says "I need to say a bunch of stuff and I can't be ready in three minutes." So Counselor says, "well if you're not ready you're in trouble." (These are not their real names).
Where do we draw the line? Of course a camp or yeshiva needs to have structure, and you can't allow every "Kid" to make his own schedule or rules. On the other paw, today we need to appreciate every drop of frumkeit that a Kid shows or has, and cherish it. And what if Kid says or thinks: "If my counselor tells me to get in line and wait five minutes between washing and having hamotzie, then my father/teacher/friend who told me that I'm not allowed to do that must be wrong. What else is he wrong about....?"
Or better, Kid knows he's right, and knows that you can't skip korbonos, or Tanya, etc. And so when Learning Teacher tells him to, he doesn't listen. So he also stops listening to LT's classes. You can't expect me to learn a maamar from you at 7:30 in the morning, and then at 8:30 tell me to skip some parts davening.
This wasn't an attack. This was a question. What is the answer?
Question: Why?
Answer: There's no good reason. So a kid goes to camp, all frum and chassidish and doing everything his mommy wishes he would. There he meets his counselor and learning teacher, the guys that are going to bring him even closer to his Father in Heaven. So they tell him go wash for Hamotzie for lunch and get on line for a roll. So Kid says "Um, I'm not allowed to that. I need to have bread right away." So counselor says, "Oh, don't try acting so frum." So in the morning Kid is davening and Counselor says "Be ready to start in three minutes." So Kid says "I need to say a bunch of stuff and I can't be ready in three minutes." So Counselor says, "well if you're not ready you're in trouble." (These are not their real names).
Where do we draw the line? Of course a camp or yeshiva needs to have structure, and you can't allow every "Kid" to make his own schedule or rules. On the other paw, today we need to appreciate every drop of frumkeit that a Kid shows or has, and cherish it. And what if Kid says or thinks: "If my counselor tells me to get in line and wait five minutes between washing and having hamotzie, then my father/teacher/friend who told me that I'm not allowed to do that must be wrong. What else is he wrong about....?"
Or better, Kid knows he's right, and knows that you can't skip korbonos, or Tanya, etc. And so when Learning Teacher tells him to, he doesn't listen. So he also stops listening to LT's classes. You can't expect me to learn a maamar from you at 7:30 in the morning, and then at 8:30 tell me to skip some parts davening.
This wasn't an attack. This was a question. What is the answer?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Here's that post I wrote that I couldn't post
So a few older bochurim from a certain yeshiva take a night off from their shlichus to go to hear a speech by a presidential hopeful.
It tugged on that cap that I have under my hood that reads "Caution: Do not open while hot!"
There's two types of serving Hashem: Kum V'Aseh and Shev V'al Taaseh. It's one thing to not do something that you are supposed to do. It's quite another to get up and do something that you shouldn't be doing. Shlucho shel adam kmoso mamosh. So in place of sitting and learning, or in place of getting someone else to learn, or in place of figuring out a mivtzah, or in place of sitting on the proverbial thumbs and doing nothing, we get up, go thru the hassle - the major hassle - of arranging transport, standing in ridiculously long lines for hours, and finally achieving our goal of doing nothing all night.
To top it off, at 7:30 the next morning, in lieu of learning or even talking chassidus, we need discuss the events of last night. We need to discuss that which hasn't a remote chance of aiding in our avodah. We taught innocent (that's wishful thinking) kids that it's ok to kill a night and even to boast about it in the morning.
We farbrenged about cherishing the hours between krias shema sheal hamittah and the end of shacharis.
We still believe in that.
It tugged on that cap that I have under my hood that reads "Caution: Do not open while hot!"
There's two types of serving Hashem: Kum V'Aseh and Shev V'al Taaseh. It's one thing to not do something that you are supposed to do. It's quite another to get up and do something that you shouldn't be doing. Shlucho shel adam kmoso mamosh. So in place of sitting and learning, or in place of getting someone else to learn, or in place of figuring out a mivtzah, or in place of sitting on the proverbial thumbs and doing nothing, we get up, go thru the hassle - the major hassle - of arranging transport, standing in ridiculously long lines for hours, and finally achieving our goal of doing nothing all night.
To top it off, at 7:30 the next morning, in lieu of learning or even talking chassidus, we need discuss the events of last night. We need to discuss that which hasn't a remote chance of aiding in our avodah. We taught innocent (that's wishful thinking) kids that it's ok to kill a night and even to boast about it in the morning.
We farbrenged about cherishing the hours between krias shema sheal hamittah and the end of shacharis.
We still believe in that.
From an old Issue of NCL
One of the most difficult things in life is finding parking near your home at night in Crown Heights (until you park four blocks away, then a spot opens up in front of your house). Almost as difficult, is being a good bochur in America in the new millennium.
American culture, by definition, is one of the biggest challenges to a bochur's goal of "doing the right thing." Advertisements, radio and television shows, and movies are geared towards a teenager's weak spots. Clothing ads certainly are nothing more than a message to teens, that what's important today is to be a physical attraction. (If it was really an ad for clothing, there would be more clothes in the ad!). No, the message is get noticed. It's not who you are, it's what you wear. The opposite extreme of what Torah teaches.
It's not by mistake either. Hollywood and the advertising industries prey on the vulnerable teenagers. They spend millions of dollars perverting and twisting the minds of our youth. And it's everywhere. Today there is an ad that thirty years ago would have been banned as pornographic - and it's an ad for toothpaste!
Practically every show has the same theme: boy runs after girl, girl runs after boy, car explodes.
But I'm not writing now about the destruction that is caused by bringing movies or television into your home. Today you can greatly damage your bochur's innocence with the daily mail.
There is almost no secular publication available today that is kosher enough to be brought into your home. Period. The world's standards have eroded to the point that practically no newspaper, magazine or novel is OK. It is appalling. And if you, a mother of young boys, have an absolute need for these magazines, et al - which are devastating to a bochur's growth - they must be kept locked up in the master bedroom, or in a safe. They certainly cannot be left in a family-room magazine stand, or even a bathroom drawer, or any other place accessible to him.
You want your son to be chassidish, and he wants to be chassidish. But you cannot put the yetzer horah in front of his nose, or worse, in his hand, and expect him to withstand the temptation.
For those that have no kids at home at any given time, you are responsible for the yiras shomayim of any bochur that passes through your home, be it a relative or a guest. If a kid in your house uses your bathroom and sees a provocative advertisement on the back of a magazine that was left sitting out, it is your fault, and you have damaged him tremendously.
Here are the options: Your boy can remain innocent a little longer, or you can have your reading pleasure. Is it worth it? No way! Live without it, and have a healthy, frum boy. Please! Do it for his sake, if not for yours.
Is it really your responsibility? If you come in contact with someone who is still in the learning process, you are a mechanech! You are an educator, and his or her chinuch is in your hands at that time.
Today in our big, bad world there is no more good and bad, or right and wrong. What kid's are basing their morals on today is "is it done or not." Of course they don't base it on what they see on the street. We've taught them that what's there on the outside is not us, it's not for our lives. But we do teach them that what they see and have at home is theirs, and is by definition good and acceptable. And they need to be able to know, unquestionably, that what they have at home, in school and in shul, is kosher.
A good bochur works constantly and continually on controlling his desires, the natural, inborn taavos that he has. And B"H he is successful. For you to put a challenge, a stumbling block, in front of him - in addition to being an aveira, it's abuse!
For a bochur to be exposed to his sister or sisters that do not dress modestly is also abuse. In addition to having to see that which he is taught and trained not to see, exposure to it desensitizes him, and his yetzer horah becomes greater. To see what he constantly sees at home is no longer a big deal, and he wants more.
We're not talking about teaching the above, culled from sichos and shulchan aruch, to your baalei battim's families, or your irreligious relatives and friends. Today this needs to be told to every single frum family. Especially bearing in mind what the Rebbe says about "poseyach al shtei hasi'ifim," namely, that it is in some ways worse than outright avodah zorah! People are looking at you as an example of a frum family and will undoubtedly imitate you. Your sons are looking at you as an acceptable role model and will do as you do. Your nephews trust you to be a chassidishe yard-stick and will emulate your actions.
If your son does have certain places or circumstances that are unavoidable, and he will be exposed to these or other unacceptable items, make sure to explain to him that "in our family, as chassidim, that stuff is wrong."
Our bochurim are trying so hard. They really are. They aren't just the pleasure seeking, attention starved teenagers the world wants them to be. They want to be the best that they can be. But they need our help. They need our help in staying away from bad, and they need our help with a good replacement for it. And with a little bit of help, a little bit of encouragement, a little bit of self-esteem boosting, they'll get caught in that beautiful cycle: they're better and so they're happier, and they're happier so they're better. Which is exactly what they want.
American culture, by definition, is one of the biggest challenges to a bochur's goal of "doing the right thing." Advertisements, radio and television shows, and movies are geared towards a teenager's weak spots. Clothing ads certainly are nothing more than a message to teens, that what's important today is to be a physical attraction. (If it was really an ad for clothing, there would be more clothes in the ad!). No, the message is get noticed. It's not who you are, it's what you wear. The opposite extreme of what Torah teaches.
It's not by mistake either. Hollywood and the advertising industries prey on the vulnerable teenagers. They spend millions of dollars perverting and twisting the minds of our youth. And it's everywhere. Today there is an ad that thirty years ago would have been banned as pornographic - and it's an ad for toothpaste!
Practically every show has the same theme: boy runs after girl, girl runs after boy, car explodes.
But I'm not writing now about the destruction that is caused by bringing movies or television into your home. Today you can greatly damage your bochur's innocence with the daily mail.
There is almost no secular publication available today that is kosher enough to be brought into your home. Period. The world's standards have eroded to the point that practically no newspaper, magazine or novel is OK. It is appalling. And if you, a mother of young boys, have an absolute need for these magazines, et al - which are devastating to a bochur's growth - they must be kept locked up in the master bedroom, or in a safe. They certainly cannot be left in a family-room magazine stand, or even a bathroom drawer, or any other place accessible to him.
You want your son to be chassidish, and he wants to be chassidish. But you cannot put the yetzer horah in front of his nose, or worse, in his hand, and expect him to withstand the temptation.
For those that have no kids at home at any given time, you are responsible for the yiras shomayim of any bochur that passes through your home, be it a relative or a guest. If a kid in your house uses your bathroom and sees a provocative advertisement on the back of a magazine that was left sitting out, it is your fault, and you have damaged him tremendously.
Here are the options: Your boy can remain innocent a little longer, or you can have your reading pleasure. Is it worth it? No way! Live without it, and have a healthy, frum boy. Please! Do it for his sake, if not for yours.
Is it really your responsibility? If you come in contact with someone who is still in the learning process, you are a mechanech! You are an educator, and his or her chinuch is in your hands at that time.
Today in our big, bad world there is no more good and bad, or right and wrong. What kid's are basing their morals on today is "is it done or not." Of course they don't base it on what they see on the street. We've taught them that what's there on the outside is not us, it's not for our lives. But we do teach them that what they see and have at home is theirs, and is by definition good and acceptable. And they need to be able to know, unquestionably, that what they have at home, in school and in shul, is kosher.
A good bochur works constantly and continually on controlling his desires, the natural, inborn taavos that he has. And B"H he is successful. For you to put a challenge, a stumbling block, in front of him - in addition to being an aveira, it's abuse!
For a bochur to be exposed to his sister or sisters that do not dress modestly is also abuse. In addition to having to see that which he is taught and trained not to see, exposure to it desensitizes him, and his yetzer horah becomes greater. To see what he constantly sees at home is no longer a big deal, and he wants more.
We're not talking about teaching the above, culled from sichos and shulchan aruch, to your baalei battim's families, or your irreligious relatives and friends. Today this needs to be told to every single frum family. Especially bearing in mind what the Rebbe says about "poseyach al shtei hasi'ifim," namely, that it is in some ways worse than outright avodah zorah! People are looking at you as an example of a frum family and will undoubtedly imitate you. Your sons are looking at you as an acceptable role model and will do as you do. Your nephews trust you to be a chassidishe yard-stick and will emulate your actions.
If your son does have certain places or circumstances that are unavoidable, and he will be exposed to these or other unacceptable items, make sure to explain to him that "in our family, as chassidim, that stuff is wrong."
Our bochurim are trying so hard. They really are. They aren't just the pleasure seeking, attention starved teenagers the world wants them to be. They want to be the best that they can be. But they need our help. They need our help in staying away from bad, and they need our help with a good replacement for it. And with a little bit of help, a little bit of encouragement, a little bit of self-esteem boosting, they'll get caught in that beautiful cycle: they're better and so they're happier, and they're happier so they're better. Which is exactly what they want.
An email we sent out
Dear parents,
I trust this finds you and yours in the best of health and spirit.
I am writing today to make sure that you understand what the Internet can do to your son, or anybody else. More precisely, if your son has any access to the Internet, what it IS doing to your son.
Imagine: Twenty years ago, when a bochur had a desire to see non-tznius images, he realized that he would have to sneak out of the house, enter unnoticed into a store that he would be embarrassed to be caught in, shamefacedly show a cashier what he was buying and lie about his age, and then view those images hiding behind a garage or bushes. Today, when a bochur wants to see non-tznius images, he goes to his living room.
Twenty years ago, the vast majority of bochurim who had that desire didn't follow through on it because it was too difficult, and they grew up and got over it. The vast majority of bochurim today are viewing these images, and it's an addiction that gets worse and worse.
Additionally, it affects every single type of bochur: the very chassidish, the not so chassidish, the outgoing, the noisy, the loner, the quiet, the obedient, the disobedient. No parent can sit back and say "I know my child, I can trust him on the computer."
Sometimes parents picture themselves in their son's shoes, but that's a mistake because the Internet experience of an adult and the experience of a teenager are world wide webs apart.
If your son uses the Internet, some or all of the following are happening:
1. He is seeing non-tznius pictures. Not by looking for them, but because almost every website that isn't 'frum based' has pictures that are not tznius, certainly not tznius by our standards. And pictures that are even less tznius are just a click away. That's best case scenario. Worst case scenario is that he is looking for non-tznius pictures, and certainly finding them, and the images that he sees are in his mind all day long and all night long.
2. He is being invited to join MySpace or Facebook or any of the other filth-riddled forums that anyone who wants to be considered "with it" needs to be a part of.
OR
He is already a member of one of these places, and is already posting and sending messages, pictures, etc. Of course, his content and language have to be up to par. He also has a few girls listed as his friends or buddies - not necessarily because he wants girls on his list, but they were a friend of a friend, and they asked to be his friend, and out of the kindness of his heart he accepted.
OR
He is already a heavy user of these forums, has many girls with whom he chats, and has changed his ID several times after being terminated for violating the terms of use agreement.
3. He is sending and receiving emails that have content that you (or I) would not approve of. Or content that would make your (or me) cry.
4. He is browsing YouTube, or a similar video website. Even if he signs on to watch a Rebbe video or a Jewish singer, when he arrives he is encouraged to watch some filth. While he's watching the kosher video it will be surrounded by suggestions of other videos, and when he's done, YouTube will recommend many more untznius videos.
5. He is searching for something on Google. Before he finds what he's looking for he is going to see or read inappropriate material, or worse.
***
We need to come to terms with the damning fact that most families have Internet access in their homes. Those of you that don't, a huge Yasher Koach to you! You are fighting the good fight, keep it up! You are the Pinchas of our days, standing up against the worst the world has to offer, in the face of overwhelming apathy.
But for those of you that have Internet in your homes, you must make sure that it is in a public place, where the users know that they have no privacy! And you must restrict the time that your children spend on the Internet to times when parents are home, and set time limits.
Please! Do not make the mistake of saying, "my child is already old enough to make good choices, I don't mix in."
Please! Do not make the mistake of saying, "my son has no interest in the filth on the Internet," or "my son is so well behaved, and so frum, he would never do anything wrong on the Internet." Kids don't sit down at the computer to ruin their lives. They sit down for innocent fun, or work, and the predatory Internet takes care of the rest.
Do not allow your child to have a laptop computer, or a handheld gaming device with Internet access, or a cell-phone with Internet access.
It's not fair! It's not fair to put a box in your son's hand and say "this box has the latest Hollywood hits. Don't open it!" "This box contains the filth your friends have told you about. Don't open it." "This box has an untznius picture or video in it. I'll never know if you look at it or not. But don't."
To ask a kid to have access to the world's filth at his or her fingertips, or in their hands or in their pockets, and expect them to stay away from it is not only unrealistic, but it's not fair.
Remember, they want to be great kids! They just need a bit of our help.
Wishing you a health and happy summer filled with nachas,
Sincerely,
I trust this finds you and yours in the best of health and spirit.
I am writing today to make sure that you understand what the Internet can do to your son, or anybody else. More precisely, if your son has any access to the Internet, what it IS doing to your son.
Imagine: Twenty years ago, when a bochur had a desire to see non-tznius images, he realized that he would have to sneak out of the house, enter unnoticed into a store that he would be embarrassed to be caught in, shamefacedly show a cashier what he was buying and lie about his age, and then view those images hiding behind a garage or bushes. Today, when a bochur wants to see non-tznius images, he goes to his living room.
Twenty years ago, the vast majority of bochurim who had that desire didn't follow through on it because it was too difficult, and they grew up and got over it. The vast majority of bochurim today are viewing these images, and it's an addiction that gets worse and worse.
Additionally, it affects every single type of bochur: the very chassidish, the not so chassidish, the outgoing, the noisy, the loner, the quiet, the obedient, the disobedient. No parent can sit back and say "I know my child, I can trust him on the computer."
Sometimes parents picture themselves in their son's shoes, but that's a mistake because the Internet experience of an adult and the experience of a teenager are world wide webs apart.
If your son uses the Internet, some or all of the following are happening:
1. He is seeing non-tznius pictures. Not by looking for them, but because almost every website that isn't 'frum based' has pictures that are not tznius, certainly not tznius by our standards. And pictures that are even less tznius are just a click away. That's best case scenario. Worst case scenario is that he is looking for non-tznius pictures, and certainly finding them, and the images that he sees are in his mind all day long and all night long.
2. He is being invited to join MySpace or Facebook or any of the other filth-riddled forums that anyone who wants to be considered "with it" needs to be a part of.
OR
He is already a member of one of these places, and is already posting and sending messages, pictures, etc. Of course, his content and language have to be up to par. He also has a few girls listed as his friends or buddies - not necessarily because he wants girls on his list, but they were a friend of a friend, and they asked to be his friend, and out of the kindness of his heart he accepted.
OR
He is already a heavy user of these forums, has many girls with whom he chats, and has changed his ID several times after being terminated for violating the terms of use agreement.
3. He is sending and receiving emails that have content that you (or I) would not approve of. Or content that would make your (or me) cry.
4. He is browsing YouTube, or a similar video website. Even if he signs on to watch a Rebbe video or a Jewish singer, when he arrives he is encouraged to watch some filth. While he's watching the kosher video it will be surrounded by suggestions of other videos, and when he's done, YouTube will recommend many more untznius videos.
5. He is searching for something on Google. Before he finds what he's looking for he is going to see or read inappropriate material, or worse.
***
We need to come to terms with the damning fact that most families have Internet access in their homes. Those of you that don't, a huge Yasher Koach to you! You are fighting the good fight, keep it up! You are the Pinchas of our days, standing up against the worst the world has to offer, in the face of overwhelming apathy.
But for those of you that have Internet in your homes, you must make sure that it is in a public place, where the users know that they have no privacy! And you must restrict the time that your children spend on the Internet to times when parents are home, and set time limits.
Please! Do not make the mistake of saying, "my child is already old enough to make good choices, I don't mix in."
Please! Do not make the mistake of saying, "my son has no interest in the filth on the Internet," or "my son is so well behaved, and so frum, he would never do anything wrong on the Internet." Kids don't sit down at the computer to ruin their lives. They sit down for innocent fun, or work, and the predatory Internet takes care of the rest.
Do not allow your child to have a laptop computer, or a handheld gaming device with Internet access, or a cell-phone with Internet access.
It's not fair! It's not fair to put a box in your son's hand and say "this box has the latest Hollywood hits. Don't open it!" "This box contains the filth your friends have told you about. Don't open it." "This box has an untznius picture or video in it. I'll never know if you look at it or not. But don't."
To ask a kid to have access to the world's filth at his or her fingertips, or in their hands or in their pockets, and expect them to stay away from it is not only unrealistic, but it's not fair.
Remember, they want to be great kids! They just need a bit of our help.
Wishing you a health and happy summer filled with nachas,
Sincerely,
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Non-Addictive Addiction
I don't use the Internet.
I just check Shmais.
And I make airline tickets.
You get the best prices.
But I don't check anywhere else.
It's shmutzik.
And I have a blog.
It's not like some other blogs.
Mine has normal content.
I've seen hundreds of blogs.
Only mine is worth anything.
Other people claim that they don't go online.
You should see them.
Their YouTube videos are so weird.
There's this one Family Guy video that makes fun of these people.
They have tons of videos.
Most are not that funny.
Pellin is funny though.
I wonder why Gruntig doesn't put on Pellin.
Apple770 does.
Also, Foxnews is not that good.
Drudge is better.
But I hate the pop-ups.
They're mostly filthy.
Even the "clean" sites are pretty bad.
Their standards are lower than mine.
Even AOL has non-tznius pictures.
By the email part.
And most of the facebook pages I've seen are pretty bad.
But not as bad as Myspace.
Wow. That's really bad.
That's why I don't use the Internet.
I just check Shmais.
And I make airline tickets.
You get the best prices.
But I don't check anywhere else.
It's shmutzik.
And I have a blog.
It's not like some other blogs.
Mine has normal content.
I've seen hundreds of blogs.
Only mine is worth anything.
Other people claim that they don't go online.
You should see them.
Their YouTube videos are so weird.
There's this one Family Guy video that makes fun of these people.
They have tons of videos.
Most are not that funny.
Pellin is funny though.
I wonder why Gruntig doesn't put on Pellin.
Apple770 does.
Also, Foxnews is not that good.
Drudge is better.
But I hate the pop-ups.
They're mostly filthy.
Even the "clean" sites are pretty bad.
Their standards are lower than mine.
Even AOL has non-tznius pictures.
By the email part.
And most of the facebook pages I've seen are pretty bad.
But not as bad as Myspace.
Wow. That's really bad.
That's why I don't use the Internet.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Honorable Mentchen
The Rebbe told us that Moshaich is already here. Then the Rebbe told us what that means:If we act like Moshiach is here, then we are perfect human beings - we learn Torah, we do Mitzvos, we have Ahavas Yisroel. And when we do that, we have Moshaich.
So technically we have a choice: We can behave as though Moshiach is here, and be as good as we can be. Or we can say, since Moshiach is already here, I can do whatever I want!
But we don't really have the second option, because we are mentchen! And a mentch doesn't do that.
IMHO, the same works with the People to People Connection, interacting with fellow human beings. If someone believes something good about you, you should be good. Take trustworthiness. If someone trusts you, absolute trust, then technically you have two options: lie all you want, because he'll never know. You're safe. Or, be trustworthy and be honest because that's what people believe of you.
But we don't really have the first option, because we are mentchen, and a mentch doesn't do that. A mentch is honest.
What do you think?
So technically we have a choice: We can behave as though Moshiach is here, and be as good as we can be. Or we can say, since Moshiach is already here, I can do whatever I want!
But we don't really have the second option, because we are mentchen! And a mentch doesn't do that.
IMHO, the same works with the People to People Connection, interacting with fellow human beings. If someone believes something good about you, you should be good. Take trustworthiness. If someone trusts you, absolute trust, then technically you have two options: lie all you want, because he'll never know. You're safe. Or, be trustworthy and be honest because that's what people believe of you.
But we don't really have the first option, because we are mentchen, and a mentch doesn't do that. A mentch is honest.
What do you think?
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Shuge Pillars
The Haftorah of Parshas Beshalach is Shiras Devorah, even though the Shirah on the Parsha is the shira of a man, Moshe Rabbeinu, and the Haftorah could have been Shiras Dovid, a song by a man (not Devorah, a woman). The reason Shiras Devorah is used is that the women in Mitzrayim had a harder time than the men, because they had the responsibility of raising their children - the whole Jewish nation. In spite of their harder job, their success is seen. It is in the fact that Yidden never changed three important things: their style of clothing, their names, and their language. Why was this such a great accomplishment? Because there three things are absolutely vital to the survival of true Yiddishkeit.
1) They didn't change their aidele clothes for the latest styles, because Yiddishe clothing style is aidel, and aidel NEVER changes. They didn't change their style of dress even when it was popular, even when it was more comfortable, even when it was better quality, and even when it was cheaper - Yidden wear aidele clothing!
2) They never changed their language. Obviously this doesn't mean that they didn't speak Egyptian, b/c they probably did, in order to get by in a store, ordering at restaurants, etc. Not changing their language means that they didnt change their adiel way of speaking, they didn't pick up the slang or the rude way that the goyim were speaking: nivul peh, swearing, "coolness," etc.
3)They didn't change their names - they had Yiddishe names, given to them by their parents, and they kept them, without looking for "hip" nicknames, etc.
That's lesson number 1.
Lesson umber two: what did the women sing with Miriam after crossing the yam suf? "Ashira LaHashem Ki Ga'oh Ga'ah, sus verochvo ramah vayam." I will sing to Hashem, Who is exalted and high, the horse and rider are thrown into the sea. They sang in praise and excitement that they were able to raise a generation of children that knew the difference, that knew what's important and what's not. LaHashem - Ga'oh ga'ah, that which is holy and for Yiddishkeit is very important, and that which is "horses and riders" - things that are not crucial to Yiddishkeit, are not importnant. For example food: "What's for supper?" "What's it made of?" They made their children to know that it's not important. Clothing: Which store? Which brand name? Not important! Those children are healthy children.
1) They didn't change their aidele clothes for the latest styles, because Yiddishe clothing style is aidel, and aidel NEVER changes. They didn't change their style of dress even when it was popular, even when it was more comfortable, even when it was better quality, and even when it was cheaper - Yidden wear aidele clothing!
2) They never changed their language. Obviously this doesn't mean that they didn't speak Egyptian, b/c they probably did, in order to get by in a store, ordering at restaurants, etc. Not changing their language means that they didnt change their adiel way of speaking, they didn't pick up the slang or the rude way that the goyim were speaking: nivul peh, swearing, "coolness," etc.
3)They didn't change their names - they had Yiddishe names, given to them by their parents, and they kept them, without looking for "hip" nicknames, etc.
That's lesson number 1.
Lesson umber two: what did the women sing with Miriam after crossing the yam suf? "Ashira LaHashem Ki Ga'oh Ga'ah, sus verochvo ramah vayam." I will sing to Hashem, Who is exalted and high, the horse and rider are thrown into the sea. They sang in praise and excitement that they were able to raise a generation of children that knew the difference, that knew what's important and what's not. LaHashem - Ga'oh ga'ah, that which is holy and for Yiddishkeit is very important, and that which is "horses and riders" - things that are not crucial to Yiddishkeit, are not importnant. For example food: "What's for supper?" "What's it made of?" They made their children to know that it's not important. Clothing: Which store? Which brand name? Not important! Those children are healthy children.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Clothes Call
I got this from an awesome blog I know, summershepherdess.blogspot.com.
It was a sunny spring shabbos afternoon.
Brother and I were making our way home from shul.
We spoke of this.
Of that.
The other.
The comfortable banter of siblings on a warm walk home...
So I was wearing a particulary random outfit that shabbos.
One of those slightly mismatched, whatever outfits.
Brother had much to say about it, as he loves to do, and I had much to defend about it, which I failed to do.
1. I was in a rush to go to shul.
2. It's getting to hot for my winter stuff.
3. It's still too cold for my summer stuff.
4. Nobody in our shul really cares.
5. I think it looks just fine, thank you very much.
~~~~
But then I got to thinking.
About clothing and words and minds and souls...
~~~~
Let's say your closet has a few nice things in it.
So whenever you have time to think about what you will wear, you can put together something nice.
Very nice.
Very, very nice.
Ohmygoodnessyoulookgorgeous kinda nice.
:)
Great.
But you also have a whole bunch of junk.
Those random items you never give away because you still like them even though they don't look the best or are not really fit to be worn.
So if you are in a rush, with no time to think, or things are in the wash, somethings missing...you just grab whatever comes to your hand and run.
And pray you don't bump into anyone important.
~~~~
If you think about it, words are kind of like clothing.
We have all kinds of words in the closets of our minds.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Usually the words that we use are nice, good, wonderful.
Indeed.
We choose them wisely when given the luxury of time.
We use them to inspire.
To impress.
To impart.
Words can be awesome.
But then there are those times when things get a little crazy.
Times when there's no time to think and you just kind of grab at whatever words may be in the closet.
Like the time you stubbed your toe.
Or your shin, your elbow, your eye.
(can you stub your eye?)
Like the day that car swerved in front of you, nearly scratching your new car.
Or the time you missed that appointment you've been waiting months for...
Suddenly all kinds of words come flying out!
The ones you didn't even realize were in the closet.
The words you tsk tsk when hearing someone else say...
Where were those hiding?
Where did I pick that one up from?
Uh oh.
~~~~
Lesson learned that fine day:
It's all about what's in your closets.
Removing all the shmutz and filling them with only beautiful garments.
So no matter what, no matter where, no matter when...
You will always be caught well dressed.
It was a sunny spring shabbos afternoon.
Brother and I were making our way home from shul.
We spoke of this.
Of that.
The other.
The comfortable banter of siblings on a warm walk home...
So I was wearing a particulary random outfit that shabbos.
One of those slightly mismatched, whatever outfits.
Brother had much to say about it, as he loves to do, and I had much to defend about it, which I failed to do.
1. I was in a rush to go to shul.
2. It's getting to hot for my winter stuff.
3. It's still too cold for my summer stuff.
4. Nobody in our shul really cares.
5. I think it looks just fine, thank you very much.
~~~~
But then I got to thinking.
About clothing and words and minds and souls...
~~~~
Let's say your closet has a few nice things in it.
So whenever you have time to think about what you will wear, you can put together something nice.
Very nice.
Very, very nice.
Ohmygoodnessyoulookgorgeous kinda nice.
:)
Great.
But you also have a whole bunch of junk.
Those random items you never give away because you still like them even though they don't look the best or are not really fit to be worn.
So if you are in a rush, with no time to think, or things are in the wash, somethings missing...you just grab whatever comes to your hand and run.
And pray you don't bump into anyone important.
~~~~
If you think about it, words are kind of like clothing.
We have all kinds of words in the closets of our minds.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Usually the words that we use are nice, good, wonderful.
Indeed.
We choose them wisely when given the luxury of time.
We use them to inspire.
To impress.
To impart.
Words can be awesome.
But then there are those times when things get a little crazy.
Times when there's no time to think and you just kind of grab at whatever words may be in the closet.
Like the time you stubbed your toe.
Or your shin, your elbow, your eye.
(can you stub your eye?)
Like the day that car swerved in front of you, nearly scratching your new car.
Or the time you missed that appointment you've been waiting months for...
Suddenly all kinds of words come flying out!
The ones you didn't even realize were in the closet.
The words you tsk tsk when hearing someone else say...
Where were those hiding?
Where did I pick that one up from?
Uh oh.
~~~~
Lesson learned that fine day:
It's all about what's in your closets.
Removing all the shmutz and filling them with only beautiful garments.
So no matter what, no matter where, no matter when...
You will always be caught well dressed.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
McMofes
The Shliach in Westwood, CA, Rabbi Dovid Gurevitch, says that his family is close to the lady that was pulled over by the police officer in the following story (I think it was put into story form by Rabbi Tuvia Bolton):
Many people have gotten out of receiving a traffic ticket using all sorts of excuses. But no one ever had a better excuse than the woman from
"Excuse me, Ma'am," he asked, "are you one of the followers of this Rabbi?" She replied that she was.
"Well, in that case I'm not giving you a ticket." He closed his ticket book. She looked up at him surprised.
The policeman smiled and said, "Okay, I'll tell you why. It's my favorite story, but I haven't told it to many Jewish people, in fact, I think that you are the first." He raised his voice over the din of passing cars.
"I used to be in the police escort that once a week escorted the Rabbi to the
"'Sure,' they said, 'The Rebbe helps anyone who asks. Why? Do you need something?'
"Later, in private, I told one of the young men, that my wife and I had been married for nine years with no children, and one week ago the doctors told us that we had no chance. We had spent a lot of money on treatments, seen all sorts of big professors, we were running around like crazy for the last six or seven years, and now they told us that they tried everything and there is no more hope. You can't imagine how broken we were. My wife cried all the time and I started crying myself.
"So this young man tells me, 'Listen, the next time that you escort the Rebbe to the cemetery, stand near the door of his car and when he gets out, ask him for a blessing.' And you know, that's just what I did! The next time I was in the escort, I stood by his door and when he got out I said to him, 'Excuse me, Rabbi, do you only bless Jewish people or non-Jews too?'
The cop's face was truly glowing at this point. "But here comes the best part. Do you know what we called him? What name we gave our baby boy? We called him 'Mendel' after the Rabbi. Can you imagine? The only Irish 'Mendel' in the neighborhood - probably in the world! At first my wife didn't like the name because it didn't sound American. Hey, it doesn't even sound Irish! But I said, No! We're calling him Mendel!
"Of course, our parents objected when they heard the name. They said, 'With a name like that, all the kids will be cruel to him. Why make the kid suffer for no reason?' But they're missing the point. When he comes home and says that the other kids called him names and beat him up because he has a Jewish name, I'll tell him that I want him to learn from those other kids how not to behave. They hate the Jews for no reason, but you should love the Jews, you should help the Jews. You just tell them that without that Jewish Rabbi called Mendel you wouldn't be here at all, and then maybe they'll start thinking differently too!"
G-d Watch
In 1896, Nathan Birnbaum was the ninth of 12 children born to Louis and Dorothy in
Nathan -- later to become known as George Burns, arguably the greatest straight man of 20th-century American comedy -- was 7 years old at the time. He and three buddies on the Lower East Side of Manhattan formed a singing group called the Pee Wee Quartet.
At the time, there was a big department store in
Around the corner from George Burn's home was a little Presbyterian church, and it had no one to enter the contest on its behalf, so the minister asked these four kids to represent his church.
That Sunday, in a
Young Gorge Burns was so excited he ran home to tell his mother. When he arrived there, she was standing on the roof hanging out the washing. He rushed up to her and said, "Mama, I don't want to be Jewish anymore."
His mother looked at him calmly and asked, "Why not?"
He said: "I've been a Jew for seven years and never got anything; I was a Presbyterian for one day and I got a watch..." And he held out his wrist to show his mom.
Wise in the ways of the world, his mother glanced at him and calmly said, "Nathan, my bubbale, first help me hang up the washing, then you can be a Presbyterian."
George Burns concluded the episode: "While I was hanging up the washing, some water was dripping from the wet clothes, running down my arm and penetrating inside my watch. It stopped working, so I decided to become a Jew again."
Love Everyone
In 1947 the Rebbe went to Paris to bring his mother, Rebbetzin Chana, to America. The Rebbe spent several months there. The Rebbe went to an eatery or grocery store, and after ascertaining that it was up to his standards in kashrus, became a regular customer. The Rebbe also introduced himself only as "Mendel."
Before leaving for America, the Rebbe thanked the owner for everything. The owner said "You paid for everything you took, why the need to say thank you?" And the Rebbe answered that it's the mentschleche thing to do. Then the owner mention something he read from the Chasam Sofer, and the Rebbe said that he didn't remember seeing anything like that written in CH"S. Then the Rebbe said "Mir vellen zich vayter zen (we'll see each other again)."
In 1969, the owner fell ill, and his son visited the Rebbe and asked for a bracha. The Rebbe gave him a bracha and said "Mir vellen zich vayter zen."
(According to a trusted source, the man's doctor asked him what his connection to the Lubavitcher Rebbe was, and he answered I don't even know who that is. So the doctor said, "well, his office called and suggested I give you the medicine you're taking.").
When the man was well, he made a point ti come to the Rebbe to say thank you, and the Rebbe brought up the Chasam Sofer and said, "Although in Paris I told you I didn't think it was written, since then I have found a copy of the CH"S that does have it."
The end.
What's the point of telling such a story? The miracle of remembering what was said twenty years earlier? I don't think so. The reason the story is told is b/c it shows outstanding Ahavas Yisroel. One of the ways to show someone that you like them is to show them that you listen when they talk. Someone confides in you and they tell you they're very sad b/c their goldfish is really sick. The next time you speak, you ask about the weather, etc., and you don't mention Goldy, you're showing that you weren't even listening.
I was sitting at the Shabbos table with a bunch of bochurim (and a bunch of broccoli) and someone said to the person sitting next to him, "Can you pass the soda?" After a minute, a kid at the other end of the table got up and took the soda and brought it to the person who asked for it. That was beautiful. He wasn't asked, but he heard that someone needed something, so he got it for him.
We need to hear when people ask for help, even if they don't use the word 'help', even if they aren't screaming, and even if they aren't calling our name. And when we do hear, we have to listen.
Before leaving for America, the Rebbe thanked the owner for everything. The owner said "You paid for everything you took, why the need to say thank you?" And the Rebbe answered that it's the mentschleche thing to do. Then the owner mention something he read from the Chasam Sofer, and the Rebbe said that he didn't remember seeing anything like that written in CH"S. Then the Rebbe said "Mir vellen zich vayter zen (we'll see each other again)."
In 1969, the owner fell ill, and his son visited the Rebbe and asked for a bracha. The Rebbe gave him a bracha and said "Mir vellen zich vayter zen."
(According to a trusted source, the man's doctor asked him what his connection to the Lubavitcher Rebbe was, and he answered I don't even know who that is. So the doctor said, "well, his office called and suggested I give you the medicine you're taking.").
When the man was well, he made a point ti come to the Rebbe to say thank you, and the Rebbe brought up the Chasam Sofer and said, "Although in Paris I told you I didn't think it was written, since then I have found a copy of the CH"S that does have it."
The end.
What's the point of telling such a story? The miracle of remembering what was said twenty years earlier? I don't think so. The reason the story is told is b/c it shows outstanding Ahavas Yisroel. One of the ways to show someone that you like them is to show them that you listen when they talk. Someone confides in you and they tell you they're very sad b/c their goldfish is really sick. The next time you speak, you ask about the weather, etc., and you don't mention Goldy, you're showing that you weren't even listening.
I was sitting at the Shabbos table with a bunch of bochurim (and a bunch of broccoli) and someone said to the person sitting next to him, "Can you pass the soda?" After a minute, a kid at the other end of the table got up and took the soda and brought it to the person who asked for it. That was beautiful. He wasn't asked, but he heard that someone needed something, so he got it for him.
We need to hear when people ask for help, even if they don't use the word 'help', even if they aren't screaming, and even if they aren't calling our name. And when we do hear, we have to listen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)