G-d Watch

In 1896, Nathan Birnbaum was the ninth of 12 children born to Louis and Dorothy in New York City. His father was a substitute cantor at the local synagogue but did not work very often. During the flu epidemic of 1903, Louis had his chance to earn some real money but contracted the flu and died. Nathan, or Nattie, as he was known to his family, started working after his father's death, shining shoes, running errands and selling newspapers.

Nathan -- later to become known as George Burns, arguably the greatest straight man of 20th-century American comedy -- was 7 years old at the time. He and three buddies on the Lower East Side of Manhattan formed a singing group called the Pee Wee Quartet.

At the time, there was a big department store in New York called Siegel & Cooper that sponsored an annual picnic, and the highlight was an amateur contest with talent representing all the churches in New York City.

Around the corner from George Burn's home was a little Presbyterian church, and it had no one to enter the contest on its behalf, so the minister asked these four kids to represent his church.

That Sunday, in a New York park, these four Jewish kids, sponsored by the Presbyterian Church, sang in the competition and won first prize. The church received a purple velvet cloth, and each of the children received an Ingersoll wristwatch worth 85 cents.

Young Gorge Burns was so excited he ran home to tell his mother. When he arrived there, she was standing on the roof hanging out the washing. He rushed up to her and said, "Mama, I don't want to be Jewish anymore."

His mother looked at him calmly and asked, "Why not?"

He said: "I've been a Jew for seven years and never got anything; I was a Presbyterian for one day and I got a watch..." And he held out his wrist to show his mom.

Wise in the ways of the world, his mother glanced at him and calmly said, "Nathan, my bubbale, first help me hang up the washing, then you can be a Presbyterian."

George Burns concluded the episode: "While I was hanging up the washing, some water was dripping from the wet clothes, running down my arm and penetrating inside my watch. It stopped working, so I decided to become a Jew again."

So, if you know someone who might be feeling like George, and you have a watch, you might be able to change a life!